Diary of Carthak
by Winter-grl2
Summary: The rat is the most sacred animal in all of Carthak personally protected by the Graveyard Hag, whom is the highest goddess in all of Carthak. Now, because of your mistake or so you claim you are now sentenced to death.
1. Prerequisite

How do you start a life from the beginning that won't disgust anyone or put them to sleep?

I have no idea. So, we're just going to have to go with this:

My name's Sara. No, I'm not famous. I'm not pretty. I'm not smart. I'm not "super-amazing." I'm nothing but Just Plain Sara. That's what I've been all my life, and now I've done it. I've gone and screwed everything up to the point of no return. That is, unless if I really want to return. At this point it doesn't seem too bright to go back to that hellhole and try and wade through this mess. This "mess" is probably what you're wondering about...well, really you're not wondering about anything. You're just a _book_ that has no views or opinions. Actually, I've never written in a diary before, but this seems to calm me while I'm stuck here on this voyage across the seas.

So, when I said I'm not smart. I guess I'm kind of lying, but not really. Since I am educated and can read and write, but I was never very good at ideas and understanding anything. I'm good at being average, and I've learned to accept that. It's not bad. It's actually quite good since no one can really pinpoint me in a crowd or find me, even if they have the most vivid description of me. That's why running away seemed to appeal to me the most. I knew, just _knew_ I could get away with it. I just took some of my stuff and walked out the front door. Never to be seen again, and now I'm leaving Tortall and going to Carthak.

Tortall, there's a word that you know, right? Yes, the lioness, whom died this past year along with her husband George. It was a sad day and King John declared it to be a day marked off of all work and labor routes. Fitting enough, that was the day I was to be married. Now, I don't want to say that I'm glad that Alanna died, because it's a horrible thing for her children and grandchildren, but if I had to go through with that wedding...

And now I'm going back into all that again. Papa's right. I have to keep my head held straight and my thoughts clear. I also have to learn to say "no" once in a while. That's probably the worst part about this whole thing. I can't do it. I **can't** say no. I hate to disappoint people and when you tell someone no. It always turns out to be a disappointment for them.

I know, it's boring being me. Well, I'm sorry but that's the way my life is. Boring, and I like it like that.

Sort of.

Either way, it's not about to change anytime soon because right now my surroundings are exactly the same as they have been these past months.

Blue, dark, salty water surrounding me on the left, right, back, and even to the front there's...wait. Is that...

Land?


	2. Now what?

Yes, it was land. It was even better than land. It was Carthak. I had made the voyage safely, and now thinking back on it...

Why was I so STUPID? I just left?! Did I even stop to realize the turmoil I've caused and grief! I could have easily been killed by a huge wave! Why wasn't I? It's not like I had anything else to hold me on it except some ropes and a pole. I left all by myself and came here!

I'm such an idiot.

Although, this is a very beautiful place, and looking at all of these beautiful people and things. I couldn't be happier. Carthak is under a wonderful ruler now. I don't really remember his name right now. Damn, that's something I'm going to have to work on. I told you I was never very good at anything educational. I can't even remember the guy's land I'm standing on right now. Oh well, it's not like I'm ever going to meet him or anything. All I remember is those spectacular stories about Emperor Ozorne. What an amazing battle that gossip made it sound. Fought Daine with metal wings and she still took him out with 3 hyenas. Spectacular.

Well back on to the point, Carthak is beautiful. The people are wonderful. Everything _feels_ right. Now what?

Now, what. What do I do?

I'm alone, I'm completely ignorant of this culture, and I have a raft that's made out of nothing but tree stalks.

Well, at least I have food for a while still. I don't eat very much, but that doesn't mean I didn't bring food with me on my trip.

I'm under-educated, but it's not like I don't have any survival skills. Plus, I wouldn't like to see what _anyone_ would look like without food for 2 months.

Well, you always hear about those stories of people running away and starting a new, grander life, but does anyone know how they actually _do _it?

I'm stumped.

Alright here, I'll make a checklist.

1. Find a job.  
2. Find some shelter.  
3. Learn the Customs.  
4. Don't offend **anyone.**  
5. Live my life in peace and quiet. No more chaos.

At least that doesn't look so hard. Alright, now a I feel a little bit better about all of this. And now everyone seems to be staring at me.

Okay...Well, maybe I should go and figure something out.


	3. Culture Shock

Oh Mithros! So much has happened. I'm sorry my first couple of entries are so short, but to be fair I did warn you. I don't really keep diaries, but this one seems different. It's more of a time line or a life-story for me to be able to go back and see what I've done wrong. Or at least what I'll do wrong. Either way, I have actually just bought my new home. It's a small, _small _shack next to the grotesque docks, but it's cheap and it's better than camping out on my raft.

I got a job delivering items and letters and such at this market. It's really rather big and I guess a lot of people go there to buy their items. They sell incense and flowers and a lot of religious statues. So far, none of the labor has been really hard, but the owners do seem rather happy to not have to walk all the way across town by themselves. Plus, I only get paid by the day. So, as long as it's still light out I have to return and deliver something else. Not that I'm complaining though, far from it. Actually, I'm very happy here right now. I have already completed my top two items in my check list. I found a job and shelter, and as far as I'm concerned I have not offended anyone or done anything wrong as of yet. Yet, of course, being the key word, but at least so far life is peaceful. So, technically I only have left to learn the customs. I'd say I'm doing very well, don't you? (Actually, you don't really say anything since you're only a book.)

Either way, I think I shall start working on learning the customs around here then. It's not as if I don't have any contact with anyone who is able to tell me all about it. Well, actually I don't. I guess I forgot to put friends on that list of things to get...

Friends.

I can't even remember if I had any back in Tortall. I _must_ have...right? I guess I've been trying so hard to create my new life here I did just that. I created a life, but there's nothing added to it. No happiness, no fun, but then again I haven't been sad or angry. Just indifferent. Uncaring.

It's not bad. I have no regrets of what I've done. Everything was for the best of everyone.

Anyways, I'm here now, and I have a great new start. You know it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. The hardest part is probably understanding what some of these people are saying. Not all of them speak the same language, and even then sometimes the person has such a thick accent it's hard to distinguish what they're trying to say.

Also, I'm really sorry if I forget sometimes to write in you so you become so far behind in what's happening but I think you have to realize that...Wait. _Book._ Yes.

Sorry, sometimes I wonder if I'm losing my sanity.

Like yesterday, I thought I was going insane. This elder man walks right up to me on the pathway that my shop is on and asks me something. I have no idea what it was that he asked for he had a very strange accent. It sounded kind of familiar, but then again it wasn't coherent to me. He took a step forward when he could tell I wasn't understanding and said it again. Still, I couldn't decipher what he was saying, so he just sighed and left.

That's it. No goodbye. No explanation. No nothing. He just left.

It was the strangest thing, but afterwards I just ended up walking back to my shop. It was still light out and I still had places to go.

The store. the store is really pretty simple, once coin per statue, 10 incense for one coin, etc. So far, that's pretty much all I know, but I have to learn more since they want me to run it sometime for them. They said they had a wedding or something to go to in the next few months so they are going to test me and see if I can run the store for them since I'm really the only person working there that's not family. The husband said that it was okay if I wasn't married or nothing since I was quiet, obedient, and honest. I personally don't know if that's a compliment, but I guess it is since I have no plan on marriage.

Mithros! I don't have _any_ plans.

Oh, yes. That's another thing I have to work on. I keep doing that and praying to Mithross. He may be my God, but he can't really protect me since I'm not in Tortall anymore. So, now I have to convert to all of Carthak's Gods and Goddesses. I had no idea how hard it would be. I mean, Mithros and the Great Goddess are accepted everywhere and they're alters are just as sacred so I'll always lay flowers at them, but I also need to remember the Carthak Gods. I don't want to make them mad at me. With all of the good luck I've been receiving by finding this job and finding this house, no matter how smelly, I have a lot to make up for.

The protection of a God is hard to obtain, and once lost is impossible to get back, but it is all worth it once you have it.

I think I remember a story being told actually about Carthak being in trouble with the Gods, but being here now it doesn't look like it. Carthak is prospering and temples and alters are all over the city. Well, I haven't actually been through the _entire_ city yet. I've only been here and around the city since that's where all of my deliveries are, but all of the temples look nice and well-used. Everyday at the shop there is a "rush hour" when everyone grabs their items to go and pray. I've noticed that there is one Goddess that tends to stand out especially, The Graveyard Hag. I don't really know why but if I was her I'd be offended someone would portray me so...ugly. It's sad but true all around this place her figure changes but no matter how it's done she always has these horribly ugly features.

I will definitley have to find out more about her since she seems so popular, but honestly I don't really like the idea of going and praying to her everyday just because I don't want to look at her.


	4. The Palace

Nothing has happened, which I guess I should be thankful for. It's been a week and nothing has happened.

See, now I sound like an idiot. Like I'm _expecting_ something to go wrong, or something to pop out and kill me or..._something_. I really need to get my head straight don't I?

It's just I seemed more compelled now to write in you and tell you everything. Maybe I just wish what I had to say was more interesting, and it's not.

I'm finally living my life in a normal fashion, and I don't seem to want it.

Why?

It's not like I'm here to impress you and show you what a great person I'm not. We have enough heroes in this world. What we really need is more followers and I tend to make myself one of the best followers ever. Someone who does what they are told and does not get written into the history books just to be made fun of or slandered years from now. I'd honestly rather be forgotten then hated, and people do tend to hate me more than like me.

It's a gift.

Gross, stale bread and my fruits have already gone bad. Forget the custom right now, I seriously need to figure out the food here. I've been eating bread for the longest time now. For as beautiful and colorful as the city is, Carthak is nothing but a hot, swampy, land mass. The bugs here are big enough to _kill_ you let alone give you diseases that will make you reach the same end. It's almost enough to make me want to leave again.

Almost, but not quite.

I don't really think I'm able to make it across that ocean again on just a raft. Mithros knows it was luck that let me by the first time.

Luck! Yes, that Graveyard Hag. She is a sort of gambler god supposed to bring luck weather good or bad is yet to be perceived but I guess magic of that kind can go either way. I don't know I just guess she's tricky and actually can change her form, so that explains the different types of statues. I asked all of this to my Owner's Wife. (They do have names but if I tried to spell them I know it'd become a total mess. Even in real life I just call them Owner or Master or something.)

The Wife is nice, she's very demure and soft. Quite the type of woman I'm suppose to be I guess, or at least what Owner thinks I should be. I don't really talk to them that often, of course usually I'm not even at the store. I'm usually running around the city making deliveries. I actually have another one to make, but this is my last stop of the day.

And of course, this is the stop that's taking the longest. Mainly because I have no idea where I'm going. At least I'm on the right street. I usually stay in the Port City of Thak's Gate, but right now I'm even past Zekoi River all the way to the Main Road.

"Excuse me," I asked a person, "What is this word?" My package was a very funny shape so the entire address didn't get on one side and I just wasn't understanding what this word was suppose to be.

The man just took one glance at it and said, "Pal lase," then walked off...

Pal lase? What the--? Pal-lase...

**Shit.**

The Palace.


	5. Delivery for Kaddar

Well, I guess it's not _that_ bad. It's not like they know how I'm really not suppose to be here, or if they even really _care_. I mean really, how would they know beside the fact that I'm the wrong race, language, and have no knowledge of this land?

That honestly sounded better in my head than when I wrote it. The only real explanation for anything like that _is_ that I'm illegally here.

Or I'm a Slave.

Well, I guess it's better than nothing. Slave. Pretend to be demure. Got it.

I walked up to the palace and used the golden chain to knock on the door.

The palace looked ok. It was definitely still being finished and in a more simple style than what it used to be. The foundation of the building seems very...regal and elegent. Then placed on top of that is just this ordinary stone. It's sturdy, don't get me wrong. It's definitely enough to stop unwanted intruders from getting into the building, but it just looks like a castle more than a palace now. There's just nothing that screams Prince to it anymore.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" asked a very impatient servant at the door.

I blushed, of course this man had been waiting at the door watching me assess their home this entire time and didn't say a word.

Can you say _terrorist_? Great!...And now, I'm just standing here looking even more like an idoit because I'm **thinking** instead of speaking. Wow, I've got this shy, demure part down pat.

"I'm sorry," I stumbled out. "I was just looking at the palace. I've never been here before and I was just cur--"

"If you want to look then look. Next time just do it quietly." He simply stated and shut the door.

When it rains, it pours. And somehow I just seem to keep getting this pouring of rain. So, I pull on the chain again and, obviously, this very same man comes back still quite curt to the point of rudeness, but were I him I'd probably be quite mad too.

"I'm sorry, no I'm here because I have a delivery from my store. I'm from Νεκροταφείο. Someone here ordered some more incense, flowers, and a dozen small statues of the Hag?" I said all of this as quickly as I could in case he wouldn't believe me and was going to shut the door again.

He looked a little suspicious but decided to open the door all the way and let me in which was something I honestly wasn't expecting. I thought he would just take the bag and let me go. What else was I there to do? I'm just a delivery girl, and not very good at it which is quite evident since I keep getting into trouble for not making enough stops through my day back at the store. They won't let me go, because then they'd have to actually pay someone else a decent wage in order to get them to do it, but if I could go faster it would "really help out."

The man left. A while ago actually. I have no idea where to, but neither do I really care. I just want to leave and go back to my little shack next to the docks.

"Hello there! What are you here for?" asked a passing gentleman.

"I have no idea. I just want to leave though." I laughed a little from frustration.

He looked at me, "Well, the door's right there," and pointed behind me

"I know, but I'm actually here making a delivery of prayer items and the man that answered the door seems to have left me. So, I guess I'm stuck until I find someone willing to take these items to the person that ordered them." Well, that was probably the most I've ever said to anyone in this entire land-mass. I blame it on the paranoia I'm feeling. I don't like taking risks, on anything. And right now my goal is to sneak up and walk right out from under the king's nose.

"Well, who was it that ordered them, that is if I may ask?" he asked me and then smiled.

"It says that it's for the King so if you know his personal servant or anyone like that who is willing to take it from me. It would really be appreciated." Then I smiled too. There was something about the contrast of his dark skin and white teeth that made his smile seem even more charming.

"Actually, you can just give it straight to me and I'll be quite pleased with that." He laughed and continued, "I don't seem to have a personal servant quite yet either, but these items and the quickness of your response is greatly appreciated also. I think I only ordered these yesterday."

Ok, I guess I shouldn't have reacted quite in the same fashion as I did, but it really was all that I could think of doing...I laughed...histerically. It's not like I thought he was joking or anything but just the irony and the trouble I am in now. It was all too much for me, so I just broke down laughing. And he just looked at me like I was the strangest thing he'd ever seen, took his items, and walked away.


End file.
